Prelude to a Prayer

Dreamed last night...

Traveling through New York City. From where? I don't know. To where? Home, home, I must get home. The bus is full of familiar faces. I'm chatting with K., a childhood friend. My Littlest is draped against me. My Eldest somewhere else in the bus. We disembark. I'm chatting with K., now carrying my Littlest. We go through a crowded place I don't recognize, to an elevator. Then I realize... my Eldest is not with us. "Don't worry, she'll be with one of the others," says K.

I cannot believe this, so I turn back and leave K. in the elevator, promise to catch up with her later. Now I'm lost in a maze of unfamiliar streets and faces. I think I hear, faint as a whisper, my Eldest crying, "Mommy!" I call her name. And I hear her now a little louder. We cry back and forth to one another until I find her. We are lost together. I must get home. So many thoughts rushing in... what to do? And then I realize I will not ever be able to find K. again, so lost am I. So, so lost.

...

Today in my quiet time outside, I remember this dream. And I realize it is the prelude to a prayer. For I'm trying to solve too much on my own, hold everything together, be there for too many people. My prayer pours out... for Charity and Susan, for J. and Ja., for S., for P., for T... Oh, God, help them home, wherever that may be. I open my hands and release them to your care. I lose them to the place in You, where they can be found. And me? Send me home too. Let me trust that you know the way.

Love,
Me